It's a long road, but I'm taking it one step at a time...

My Mini-Goal

8/08/10 to 8/31/10-to lose 6 lbs this month

Monday, July 26, 2010

Order vs. Chaos

My plans got sidetracked today. I don’t even know if I am going to make it to the gym so I might just go swimming or do some stepping for a half hour tonight, but I must admit I have gotten a bit of a workout.

They screwed up my kitchen. Not only did they not do their chores last night and clean it up after dinner, but they made more of a mess this morning with whatever the heck they did in there.

By “them” I mean my boys... all of them; the big one included.

I am not a neat freak by any definition.

There are four of us and we rent a 1000 square foot apartment. I work at home, the kids homeschool, now my husband is home a lot studying for his test, and there are always some kinds of arts & craft projects going on... so I am realistic. Homework gets left on my big coffee table for a few days, books get left on side tables, the buffet table sometimes houses an ongoing science project. Sometimes I have my PC and a stack of books set up around me on the dining room table for a day or two in the middle of researching an article. I am constantly battling the toys getting left around in the boy’s room.

I like things clean, though. A place for everything, and everything in it’s place... Even if there might be some things left out, everything has a Rubbermaid box, or spot on the shelf, or place in a drawer just waiting for it. I keep my closets and cabinets and drawers well organized and labeled so when it’s time to put stuff away, it’s pretty easy. I make good use of space, too, with organizers, to maximize it to it’s fullest potential. I have my system, I strive for maximum convenience first, then figure out a way to make it look pretty.

A little clutter is one thing... dirt is quite another. This is Florida and I live in an apartment complex. I have to worry about bugs & other pests, mold, mildew and other allergens, etc... the warmth and humidity here make it harder to battle these things, and it’s even worse when you live in a complex like this, where some neighbors are perfectly fine but some are just slobs and don’t give a damn or aren’t able to upkeep so well. So, preventative is the best measure.

But when it comes to my kitchen, I am probably cross that line into the fanatical.

I like– no, I need– it to be spic & span, organized, spotless and disinfected. So I kind of blew my stack this morning when I went in and found drips down cabinet fronts, fingerprints all over appliances, the refrigerator in complete disarray with things just stuffed anywhere in there, crumbs and dried food on the counter, dirty pans on the stove, dirty dishes in the sink, clean dishes in the dishwasher and piled on the chest freezer because they can’t go away because the cabinet that holds them has things all in the wrong place... dirty, crumby floor... disorganized pantry... ugh it was horrible.

I mean, I knew it was about due for a good cleaning when I was in it cooking last night– but crap, what the hell did they do to it?!! It wasn’t nearly that bad!

So I lit a candle to Hestia and prayed and got to work. Bending, stretching, sweating, etc., and with every minor accomplishment feeling better. And I got to thinking about a correlation:

order in my environment = order in my head

chaos in my environment = chaos in my head

It’s more than just unpleasant when things are dirty and messy... it’s like there is a weight– like negative energy is just lingering and collecting and clinging to it.

It’s kind of like that with food, too.

Good, healthful, well-prepared, good quality ingredients, attractively presented food... no matter what it is, it seems lighter, more pleasant, more ordered, and in turn I feel good after eating it. I feel as though I have consumed the beauty of that which is natural and earthy combined with the care that went into the preparation and presentation.

Food that is just plain slop, slapped on a plate, full of chemicals and poor quality ingredients... no matter what it is, it seems heavier, more chaotic, impure, there is something of a twisted satisfaction in eating it but it’s not really pleasant, and after eating it I feel bogged down, as if I consumed all the negativity with it, all the mal intentions of making it cheaper and cutting costs and just getting it together so the customer ordering it will get out of your face.

Order in all things seems to bring the balance, the peace, the harmony that ultimately makes it easier to make better choices, to feel better about myself. Whether I am cleaning my house, or eating cleaner, or purifying myself of toxins by showering, exercising, meditating, etc... it makes me feel lighter– not just on a physical, but on an emotional, mental and spiritual level.

It gives me a different kind of high than the binging and laying around used to give me, one that really lifts me up overall, and it’s like it can reach out to all aspects of my life and, like some Midas touch, make my life better. It’s like the law of attraction... what I put out in the world, what I put into my self, I invite better things into my life.


No gym today. I'll do some step exercises later.

Breakfast: 137 cal/ 1.5 g fat/ 54.8 g carbs

1 cup cornflakes
½ cup skim milk
1 medium banana

Lunch: 156 cal/ 5.6 g fat/ 11 g carbs
Omelet (2 egg whites + 1 whole egg, made w/ nonstick butter flavor spray)
Stuffed w/ 1 cup roasted, seasoned thai veggie mix

Dinner: 590 cal/ 16.2 g fat/ 88.2 g carbs
Lean Cuisine Spinach & Mushroom Pizza
garden salad w/ fat free ranch dressing
Coffee w/equal & half & half

Dessert: 130 cal/ 2 g. fat/ 23 g carbs
½ cup fat free vanilla ice cream
Whipped topping light
1 tsp sugar free chocolate syrup

Totals: 1154 calories / 24.5 g. fat / 183 g. carbs
Percents: 63% carbs/20% fat/ 17% Protien

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