It's a long road, but I'm taking it one step at a time...

My Mini-Goal

8/08/10 to 8/31/10-to lose 6 lbs this month

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Being a little Bad to stay Good.

Hey, I found another blog about a woman utilizing her skills and training in Witchcraft to lose weight... I love reading other people's stories & experiences for inspiration. It's so cool to know you're not alone when you feel a task that feels monumental. I hope I find more to follow, usually when I look all I can find are people selling weight-loss spells.

Husband report: he had a rocky start for a couple of days; he was sneaking food. Then he admitted it (to us and himself) and resolved to start fresh and do better. He seems more self-motivated this time and I am more confident that this time he will do well. It's all in the attitude.

Which brings me to the question on my mind today, one we discussed as we curled up on the couch and watched some movies last night: Scheduling a cheat night-- self-defeating or pro-active?

It's almost impossible to never have a case of over-indulgance, right? No matter what you're dealing with in life, once in a while, you have to give yourself some slack. If you're a strict budgeter and saver, you have to splurge sometimes and treat yourself. If you're a workaholic, you have to take some time off occasionally. If you're trying to eat healthy, is it healthy to loosen up sometimes and just enjoy food the way you want?

The thing is, food is an addiction. I have compared it to being a drug addict or alcoholic before. Of course, if you have a substance abuse problem, you shouldn't indulge occasionally, you should stay away. You should even avoid situations where you might be tempted, such as old buddies still addicted or bars you used to frequent.

On the other hand, as a food addict, you can't ever quit your habit. You can't just walk away and avoid it, you have to learn to control it where ever you go. You can't just walk away from the people you shared your habit with– I’d have to get divorced and disown my mother! So since, unlike other additions, you have to learn to live with moderation, should that moderation include an occasional "break"?

“Cheating” can sometimes be detrimental to a diet, depending upon the extent. Sometimes a little cheating can trigger a domino effect: a little more and a little more until you are out of control. Sometimes cheating ends up being one great big binge, you go on a total bender. That’s because it is born out of a moment of weakness and utter desperation; and once you get going on it, you feel so depressed and that you have utterly failed, which makes it harder to stop and get back on track.

But I firmly believe the key is not in deprivation, but in moderation. Seems to me that if you eat healthy 90% to 95% of the time, you're doing good, that 5% to 10% of the time you give in a little will barely slow you down.

My husband and I were discussing whether outright planning a “cheat night” would help you from going completely overboard, because it is not born out of a moment of absolute weakness, but undertaken when you are still in control of what you eat and how you feel. It would also eliminate the feelings of guilt and defeat and frustration, since part of the plan is the cheat ending at a certain time. Instead of giving in to what is available, it would be more satisfying, because you could think it out and go get something very, very satisfying, guilt-free, single-serving, to totally indulge in, and then back on the wagon the next morning.

My fear would be that this is a cop-out, some kind of psychological manipulation from my subconscious, the little “devil” on my shoulder whispering into my ear and tempting me to do these things that he knows that carnal part of my brain really wants to do.

But I have gotten through PMS again this month and remained strong so it's not like I'm just looking for excuses to chow down. As I have mentioned before, I have long sensed that, eventually, I will look for a splurge. And I really fear that, if it is an act of desperation at a time of weakness, it will be excessive and may be hard to get over.

So would it be better if it is an occasional planned, controlled indulgence, to sort of a "nip it in the bud?" A libation to appease this sleeping monster somewhere in my brain, that surely will continue to awaken sporadically throughout my life? Is it better to be ready to toss it a tasty morsel occasionally, to rest from fighting it, to replenish my strength for fighting it on other days?

Would making a cheat night a once or twice monthly thing be comforting and help lend strength rather than weaken my resolve? When I do begin to feel weaker, will it be the knot at the end of my rope to tell myself, “Hang on; “cheat night” is coming in 3 days.” I retain the upper hand, I retain the control, it is not giving up or giving in, it is a calculated decision and I am not weak nor failing if I am still in control, right?

It's as if my appetite for food is this childish entity, and I have been like one of those "Super Nanny" parents who have been hopeless with the kid. When dealing with kids (I have a lot of experience and background in this area), you have to keep control and consistent discipline, but sometimes you still have to use your head, tbe lenient, make some occasional treats and allowances... could this be the same thing?

And if we scheduled a cheat night, what bit o’ magic can I devise to help it be a pleasant, yet finite, moment in time? I think I have some ideas, which I will have to get to later.

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I would enjoy hearing your encouragement, reasonable criticism, questions, insights, advice and experiences. Comments will be moderated, however. I realize there may be people out there who only want to insult me for my weight or attack my beliefs in Witchcraft. There are plenty of forums for doing that. This is not one of them.

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